what happened on christmas 2005
you know, i had a penpal once upon a time. her name was candy, not the same candy in anderson jc of course but ohwell, she had a sad story.
haha, about derek…at some point, he was my savior lol, but he actually saved me from committing suicide after i got raped though and from there i just had the feeling like i owe him something, even though he never said anything about that.
and it got worse.
today im at friend’s house, and today wasnt even a good day to say. last sunday i just got out of hospital, i literally stayed there for 7 days because im having galbladder and stomach infections, and not only just that, i also got tumor in galbladder and its growing. i was suppose to be in surgery by now but the asshole – dr. pacey didnt think that i was an important case to him, so he discharged me while im still in pain.
it must not be very polite copying emails from your penpals, even if they are four years old already. that was the last email from candy anyway, i have totally no idea if she’s dead or something because of the grave illness. out of four siblings, she had a deaf brother and sister and she’s a canadian btw. all these details kinda flooded back into my head when i was randomly tidying up my mailbox, quite sad isn’t?
so joshua, life is not as bad as you think it is. same to you, jilly, and everybody else for that matter, i like to count my lucky stars rather then complain why do i have so little of them hanging in the sky glowing for me. jilly’s probably going to be incredibly busy in between our 15th and 16th monthsary and will need more personal space of her head in lieu of all the crushing academic commitments but yup, there’s no use bitching and whining about it – when the month is over, we’ll paint the town red. i intend to drive her down to island creamery and let her try the exotic flavours they have in the parlour 
after her exams, i would have gotten my first pay-check too and we can go shopping together! there’s always the bird park date that we’ve always been procrastinating and who knows, maybe thats where we’ll be going right after her last paper, who knows? ::)
think positive!
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the last lonely morning
have i found you
flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
big pill stuck going down
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